A Role Model for Communication

For my blog this week, I was asked to think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. What behaviors does this person exhibit that make him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not?

(Adapted from O'Hair & Wiemann, 2015, p. 31)

       It is difficult for me to think of a communicator who I consider to be a role model. I have met and communicated with many people whose skills for sharing ideas were lacking and unfortunately those are the ones that stuck with me the most. When I consider who would be a role model in communication would be someone who first and foremost understands that their thoughts and viewpoints are one of many and therefore shares their ideas without the expectations that others will immediately accept their statements. An effective communicator also listens a much as they speak and seeks to understand the question,issue, or statement to which they are responding. Finally, the communicator takes into consideration their audience and conveys their message in a way that allows the message to be heard by that particular audience. It is important to note that the message should not be watered down or sugar coated, however it should be shared with others in a way that shows it comes from a place of care and concern. 

        As I think back over the years of all the mentors I have had from teachers, bosses,principals, colleagues,friends and family members the person I think of most when I consider having a challenging conversation is my former professor Dr. Cynthia Paris. I know this is due in part to the fact that the only communications course I've taken before this one was taught by her. However, I feel she opened my eyes and mind to different ways of communicating. Her message and energy is always positive even when confronting challenging opposition. I always felt that she was a tough but fair evaluator and was able to communicate in ways that her students understood to be critiques and not criticism. I also believe her passion for her work is inspiring and is communicated not only through her words but also through her actions. She is well respected within the collegiate community by faculty and students alike. I know and understand that the strategies taught within her course come from the publication work of another professional within the field of communication, however Dr. Pari'ss ability to educate and motivate her students to effectively use the strategy is powerful.

        I have tried to model myself after her especially within my profession. I often find myself in difficult meetings with a parent and have to remind myself of the strategies Dr. Paris taught us. I remember posing the question to her " the strategies that we're learning are great and of course if everyone knew them all meetings would be great, but of course this won't happen. How do we continue to stick to the strategies when the other party does not know them and therefore won't adhere to their either placing us (educators) at somewhat of a disadvantage?" I don't recall her exact words but I do recall her honesty and realistic response of "no, very few people will have this training or understanding of how to approach conversation. If you stick to the strategy you will be doing all that you can to meet the needs of the children and families you work for and hopefully others will recognize that which will help move the conversation forward. However there will be times when the strategies won't work and if they don't if may be time to end the discussion and pick it back up later. The strategies I have learned from her have in many cases changed the lives of children as I used them to help parents navigate difficult choices regarding the health and well being of their child.