Communication Inventory

     This week I had the opportunity to complete three questionnaires designed to evaluate my communication skills in the areas of verbal aggressiveness,listening style and communication anxiety. The same three questionnaires were then completed by two people who know me well a best friend and close coworker. In reviewing my results I was not surprised and score about where I expected to in each area. When I compared my scores to those of others who evaluated me I was happy to see all three of us had the same evaluation. this was definitely comforting to know that I am perceived the way I believe I am and want to be. I did find that my level of anxiety in communicating is not as evident to others. I scored myself as having  higher anxiety than  my peers perceived.

Here are my scores:
Verbal aggressiveness: moderate
Listening styles: people oriented
Communication Anxiety: mild

This week I had the opportunity to really reflect on how I communicate. I often receive compliments from coworkers for my ability to collaborate, be flexible, organized, and communicate with families. So, I had a pretty good idea of how I am perceived within the context of work. While I am happy with my over ratings it did give me pause to think about how I would like to be more assertive at times. Due to some recent events I have wondered if my communication style has hindered me at times as some may see me as an easy target to abuse this and walk over me by burdening me with challenges because they know I'm not likely to become aggressive. I was curious to know how my friend would rate me as we have not been in the situations described in the questionnaire ( mostly meetings and presentations) since we were in high school. I guess what I've learned from this is that my communication style has not changed much since high school. Which is surprising considering the number of experiences I've had that certainly could have significantly changed how I communicate especially those in which I was mistreated. Ultimately I am happy that my self presentation is positive and aligns with how I want to be perceived.

Effective Communication Different Situations

This week I was asked to answer the question of whether I change my communication when I speak with people from different groups and in what ways.  The answer to this question is a resounding yes. The words I choose, the tone, the among and size of my hand gestures and the volume of my voice change. The changes that stand out the most to me is how I speak with my students, versus colleagues in professional setting versus my friends/family versus black people who I don't know or are only acquainted with. When I am in a professional settings my words are filled with more jargon, with proper pronunciation and greater use of less popular words. When I am with a mixed group of black people I tend to change my choice of words and pronunciation in order to fit in.The most relaxed my speech is happens when I am with family and friends. I am most comfortable to be my true self and use the words,tone, and volume that I want. 

Three strategies that I could use to better communicate include interaction appearance theory,self efficacy, and self monitoring. Interaction appearance theory which is about how our perception and understandings about a person change as we spend more time with them. Understanding this theory would help me to relax and know that anyone who is worth spending time with will in time recognize me for who I am regardless of the words I choose to use when I speak with them and therefore I should communicate with the style that is most comfortable to me. Self efficacy is about being able to predict how well I will be able to communicate within a given situation. Generally, I am very good at being able to effectively communicate and therefore have a high and accurate self efficacy. With recognition of this I should not be quite so uneasy with communicating with my superiors about concerns or ideas regarding my work. Self monitoring is a strategy that I have always employed naturally, which is observing the surroundings and others to adjust how I present myself. This helps me adjust my tone,volume and word choice to best suit the situation so that I match the environment and establish my role within it.

T.V. and Nonverbal Communication

For my Communications course I was asked to record an episode of a television show I do not normally watch and first watch it with the sound turned off and consider these questions.

• What do you think the characters' relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?
• What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

Then  watched the show with the sound turned on and responded to these questions.

• What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?
• Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I chose to watch the ABC Family show Young and Hungry.  While I have watched many series on the network this is a new series that I had yet to get around to watching so this assignment was the perfect excuse. I knew that the premise of the show was about a young twenty something female lead character trying to make it on her own in a big city who somehow got the opportunity to be a personal chef.

1st watch without sound:

The episode opens with the lead female, I'll call her Emily ( after the actress's real name) knocking on the door to what appeared to be an apartment. When the door swings open to reveal anotehr older woman Emily immediately perks up straightening her posture. Her shoulders slide bakc nadn her chest protrudes forward in what appears to be confidence. She looks the other woman directly in the eye and begins a dialogue while smiling nad including gentle nods, again exuding confidence. The older female character, I'll call her Lisa, smile politely returns the dialogue with raised eyebrows and closes the door in Emily's face! This sort of banter contines back and forth as Emily shuffles in high heels between what seems to be two doors tot he apartment with Lisa answering each time. With each exchange Emily's body language becomes more dejected when the door is closed and more desperate when opened. She is finally allowed in. She walks into plush appartnemt and appears to be excited and in awe as she rushes around the space gestrueing to objects and quickly turnign her head back and forth beween the object and  new male character, I'll call him George in what appears to be a dialogue about the siade objects and their true cost or sentimental value. After this exchange EMily proceeds to sit down ina chair only to quickly rebound bakc up upon noticing a male sitting at a desk.George sits down at the desk and looks at Emily ina mocking way. She proceeds to address the second male who is sitting down dressed in a black chef's uniform. Emily stands above him talkingand gesturing qucikly a he nods and smiles looking up at her. the two men then proceed to finish a conversation they appear to have already started ending in an exhuberant high five with smiles. Teh two stand up and shake hands and the "chef" leaves the apartment. It is at this time that I noticed the contrast in what Emily is wearing, a knee length structured pattern dress with 3-4 inch stilletto heels to what the "chef" is wearng a clean uniform with sensible shoes. Emily then begins follwoing George around the apratment in what appears to be begging. Her upper body is leaning forward and her gestures vary from large and exhuberant to small and dejected. Her facial expressions also appear to be pleading. At this time a thrid male enters the appartment, leaps on to the sofa landing in reclined position and opens a magazine. Georgor rushes over and sits down next to the new male who I'll call Will. As Will talks George's body posture appears much more submissive than before as he leans forward and laughs in an over the top fashion to which Will puts what hand up in a stop gestrue and George instantly stops laughing. During the conversation the two say something that prompts Emily to comment. It appeared that Will had not noticed her before and looks at Georgr while gesturing to Emily in what looks to be a question of who she is. Dialogue ensues in which it George gestrues toward Emily in a dismissive way and begins walking her to the door as Emily attempts a rebuttal. Will says something that stops the two in their tracks , both look at Georgr with very different expressions, George's shocked and Emily's excited. I nthe next scene Lisa,Emily and George are all in the kitchen with Emily at the stove cooking and Will on the other side sitting down on a barstool wit ha plate in front of him. Emily places the food on his plate. As Will bites in to the food the other three lean forward anxiously. Will closes his eyes and sighes deeply after a moment with simultaneously releasing the height on the stool in what becomes  dramatizes sigh of pleasure. Emily claps her hands and bounces up and down with excitement.

2nd watch with sound:

After watching the episode with sound I realized how many small details were missed such as specifics  in conversation but I was able to get the overall gist of the antics that were occurring in the show. Based on the way the characters interacted I got the impression that George was a hired employee to took his position very seriously and held it over the heads of others. Lisa seemed to be good natured but enjoys making others work for what they want. Will seemed to be disconnected from all the antics that occur in his home but has a good idea of what kind of people George and Lisa are. Emily seems to be bubbly and eager to please.

A major assumption that I made that turend out to be inaccurate was that Will gave Emily a chnce to cook for him because he was attracted to her..She was wearing a very femimine outfit that I thought caught Will's eye. However as it turns out he was simply hungry that moment and when the chef who George actually hired wasn't present Will was happy to give Emily the chance to cook for him. Prior to watching with the sound turned on  wasn't sure if Emily was actually a trained chef or if she was simply looking to get hired by any means. 

If I had been watching a show I knew well I would have better been able to interpret the dialogue that was occurring and even anticipated certain gestures, facial expressions and actions. However, I wasn't too surprised that I was able to pretty accurately "read" the non verbal cues. The show fits in a specific genre of television programming so it was easy to recognize patterns and archetypes in characters. Once I established the archetypes and general premise of the show I was able to understand a lot of what was occurring. What I did notice is that I missed out on much of the humor because very little was physical comedy and more so quick quips and jabs among the characters accentuated by facial expression and gestures.

A Role Model for Communication

For my blog this week, I was asked to think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. What behaviors does this person exhibit that make him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not?

(Adapted from O'Hair & Wiemann, 2015, p. 31)

       It is difficult for me to think of a communicator who I consider to be a role model. I have met and communicated with many people whose skills for sharing ideas were lacking and unfortunately those are the ones that stuck with me the most. When I consider who would be a role model in communication would be someone who first and foremost understands that their thoughts and viewpoints are one of many and therefore shares their ideas without the expectations that others will immediately accept their statements. An effective communicator also listens a much as they speak and seeks to understand the question,issue, or statement to which they are responding. Finally, the communicator takes into consideration their audience and conveys their message in a way that allows the message to be heard by that particular audience. It is important to note that the message should not be watered down or sugar coated, however it should be shared with others in a way that shows it comes from a place of care and concern. 

        As I think back over the years of all the mentors I have had from teachers, bosses,principals, colleagues,friends and family members the person I think of most when I consider having a challenging conversation is my former professor Dr. Cynthia Paris. I know this is due in part to the fact that the only communications course I've taken before this one was taught by her. However, I feel she opened my eyes and mind to different ways of communicating. Her message and energy is always positive even when confronting challenging opposition. I always felt that she was a tough but fair evaluator and was able to communicate in ways that her students understood to be critiques and not criticism. I also believe her passion for her work is inspiring and is communicated not only through her words but also through her actions. She is well respected within the collegiate community by faculty and students alike. I know and understand that the strategies taught within her course come from the publication work of another professional within the field of communication, however Dr. Pari'ss ability to educate and motivate her students to effectively use the strategy is powerful.

        I have tried to model myself after her especially within my profession. I often find myself in difficult meetings with a parent and have to remind myself of the strategies Dr. Paris taught us. I remember posing the question to her " the strategies that we're learning are great and of course if everyone knew them all meetings would be great, but of course this won't happen. How do we continue to stick to the strategies when the other party does not know them and therefore won't adhere to their either placing us (educators) at somewhat of a disadvantage?" I don't recall her exact words but I do recall her honesty and realistic response of "no, very few people will have this training or understanding of how to approach conversation. If you stick to the strategy you will be doing all that you can to meet the needs of the children and families you work for and hopefully others will recognize that which will help move the conversation forward. However there will be times when the strategies won't work and if they don't if may be time to end the discussion and pick it back up later. The strategies I have learned from her have in many cases changed the lives of children as I used them to help parents navigate difficult choices regarding the health and well being of their child. 

  

Professional Hopes and Goals

  
One hope that I have for working with children and families is that I am able to create a space in which I and my staff and families feel comfortable and safe to share challenges and struggles related to diversity and navigating relationships in relation to the education of children.

A goal that I have for the early childhood field is to seek out diverse staff and to make educating professionals on issues related to diversity a priority. As a person of color I recall seeing very few of my teachers who were anything other than a white female. It is important for children to see many different people in teaching positions including diversity in gender,sexual orientation, ethnicity, age and more.

As this course comes to a close I would like to thank my colleagues. Their honesty and openness in sharing personal experiences has helped immensely to broaden my understanding of diversity issues. I also appreciate the positive reception I received in sharing my personal stories. It helped me feel comfortable in sharing personal stories that I have yet to share with many. I wish all of you continue success in achieving your personal and professional goals. 

Welcoming Families From Around the World

For this assignment, I was asked to imagine the following scenario:

You are working in an early childhood setting of your choice—a hospital, a child care center, a social service agency. You receive word that the child of a family who has recently emigrated from a country you know nothing about will join your group soon. You want to prepare yourself to welcome the child and her family. Luckily, you are enrolled in a course about diversity and have learned that in order to support families who have immigrated you need to know more than surface facts about their country of origin.
In order to complete this assignment, first choose a country you know nothing about as this family’s country of origin.

• The name of “your” family’s country of origin
• At least five ways in which you will prepare yourself to be culturally responsive towards this family
• A brief statement describing in what ways you hope that these preparations will benefit both you and the family

My family is from the Phillipines. To prepare myself to be culturally responsive I would start with a basic google search on the Phillipines country and culture. My next step would be to visit the closest Phillipines community center to see what I could learn from talking with others. Next, I would take stock of my own classroom and begin ensuring that there are things that will ease the transition for the child. This would include materials that represent her culture specifically. I would ensure that communication is not impacted by securing a translator and translation services for paper materials that go home. Once the family arrives I would arrange the initial meeting with an interpreter and ask about their school experiences and what they expect and want out of thier child's school experience. I would also ask the family about their family culture after explaining my reasoning for asking; to help ease the transition and respect their ethnic and family culture. Finally, I would ensure that they were aware of community resources including the communitiy center I visited as well as a means to contact and communicate with me via an intepreter using a telephone service that my school division uses. 

My hope is that through these preparations I learn about the culture to prepare myself, the students and my colleagues and the family sees and understands that we are there for them. Our goal is to support them and their child and they are in a safe place with people who are looking out for their overall well being. The goal is also to create open communication so that myself nor the family ever feel that we can't exchange important information. The benefits also include the opportunity for my self and my students to learn about a new culture and for the new family to have the opportunity to share their culture with us.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression? Keep in mind that one can encounter such incidents in real contexts, including online environments, as well as in fictional ones, such as movies, books, television shows, and the like.

 My friends and I experienced prejudice during a stay at a well known hotel chain in downtown Washington D.C. A friend of mine rented out two rooms for us to use to help ring in the new year. The hotel was built with a large atrium with a skylight which created open hallways on every floor. We could see down to the lobby and across the building to rooms on the other side as well as every floor. While celebrating within the hour before and after midnight our group was harassed and threats were made that we would be thrown out due to the noise level. We were extremely upset as we were not the only ones celebrating with children running around the large circular halls and people shouting congratulations throughut the building. We of course knew this for a fact as we could see and hear it occurring due tot he building's design. The only difference is that we were young twenty something black adults and everyone else was white.
 
In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?

 Equity was diminished when we no longer received the same treatment as everyone else in the building. The manager never approached any other rooms or even asked the children who ran past him where their parents were. After the incident we decided to take our celebration out of he building and try going to a bar. This was upsetting because we purposefully tried to have a safe new year's by celebrating at the hotel rather than being out.We were watched the entire time the group made its way out to the street with a security guard following us out and watching as we stood outside the entrance and planned where to go.
 
What feelings did this incident bring up for you?

 This incident reminded me that even in my hometown that is one of the most diverse cities in teh world and has been for a while now, I am not safe from bias and prejudice. I felt like a criminal as we were watched and followed out the door the hotel we had paid a premium price to stay in during he holiday weekend. I felt less than others.
 
What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?
 
 This is an extremely difficult question as it would require a change in societal perception and action to make this an opportunity for greater equity. It is not clear where the complaint intially came from weather it was another patron of the hotel or the management itself, however both would need to change. If a noise complaint was made then the management should have treated everyone fairly and either approached each room in a calm,respectful and professional manner and asked every guest to return to their rooms and to keep their volume down. If this had occured my friends and I would not have minded the request and would have quickly complied. Instead we weren't given a warning and were essentially verbally attacked by the management as though we were criminals rather than paying guests.