A Note of Thanks

Thank you to my classmates and colleagues of the past 8 weeks. Our course work  in EDUC 6164 Communication and Collaboration has been extremely meaningful. I thank everyone for their meaningful posts that helped me to further understand concepts or gain new perspective on familiar ideas. I also would like to thank those who responded to my blog or discussion posts. Your questions and comments reaffirmed my learning or challenged my thought process. I wish you all success as we move forward into the next phase of our academics lives- specializations.

Team Development: Adjourning

The five stages of team development include forming, storming, norming, performing, and adjourning. When I think about the final stage,adjourning, I immediately think of the first team of teachers I taught with. More specifically I think of the four who supported me throughout the year. I found this group to be one of the hardest to leave because we had experienced such as horrible year together. We depended on each other to get through. No one else will ever truly know what it was like to be on our team during that time will all the obstacles that we faced. It was sort of like a teaching sorority in the at way we were bonded by our failures and successes. As far as closing rituals go, we had one last outing together as one team at a local bar for happy hour. The usual commiserating occurred before we said our last goodbyes. Of the six four of us left the school at the end of the year. We promised to stay in touch and we have. About  year later everyone who was still living in the area got together for lunch and we reminiscence. That was about three years ago. Few of us still get together every now and then.

I imagine that the adjourning stage of the group I have worked with during this course will occur in the same fashion as previous courses as a norm has been established.  We will share our thank yous and lessons learned from one another on our blogs and maybe send individuals more specific remarks on our time together. I believe that this adjournment is significantly less emotional simple because we haven't met in person or spent time getting to know one another on a personal level outside of our course requirements. I believe it would be much more challenging if our class met in person. Regardless adjournment is important because it is an opportunity to share any last remarks, mend damaged relationships, and to thank others for their time. It is a way to leave things on a positive note. You never know when you might meet up with someone again and possibly even have to work together.

Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

       This week I was asked to think about any recent conflicts at work or in my personal life and consider how I could use nonviolent communication strategies such as compromises, creative or broader solutions, or the principles of respectful,reciprocal and responsive  (3 R's) communication.

http://www.compassionateinteractions.com/nvcmodel.php

            Very recently I had some conflict with a supervisor and major decision they made which would impact my daily work and ultimately my career. When I as informed of the decision I was angry and heartbroken. I was told that I was chosen because  of the amazing work I had done and that I was best suited. I was told that while it would be a challenge I should take it as a huge compliment. However, I saw it very differently. 
           This was the largest scale conflict I have come across in my career and was having a very hard time dealing with it. I had a few strategies for handling the conflict. First, I did my best to keep the conflict quiet. I didn't talk about it much and only told a few trusted people,solely for the use of a sounding board. The conflict was between me and my supervisor and no one else needed to become involved. The second strategy was that I remained professional at all times. Even while crying in front of my supervisor ( I tried my best to maintain my composure but I couldn't help the emotions that flooded me) I shared a few of my concerns and immediately began trying to find the positive. Third, I refused to discuss that matter further with my supervisor until I had time to calm down, think, and gather a list of questions to be better informed and prepared for the change. I also had a list of request to support me in the transition. In the end everything worked out as there a number of events that occurred that  allowed me to maintain my current workload. The final strategy that I used to was allow the conflict to rest once it was over. In the final conversation I had with my supervisor regarding the matter I explicitly shared my feelings regarding everything. I wanted him to know my passion for my current work and how I was impacted by the decision. I did this in a very professional manner with a relaxed tone of voice and non confrontational language. I was however firm in my voice and word choice. I followed up with letting him know that there was no need for anyone to know about what had occurred as it would only serve to harm the positive,collaborative and trusting work environment already established. 
         At the end of this conversation my supervisor praised me for my professionalism, saying that he had always thought highly of me but the way I handled that tough and emotional situation was beyond impressive. I was proud of my self for how I handled the situation but most proud of how I stood up for myself to my supervisor respectfully and professionally.  I believe I handled the situation using nonviolent communication strategies before learning about them in this course.